Sabbatical three and a half weeks in

At the end of February Martin gave up his job with a view to taking six months off as a Sabbatical.  This is something we started saving for a while back, after we were struck by the idea of the Sabbatical year in the Leviticus 25 in the Bible:

The Lord spoke to Moses on Mount Sinai, saying, “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: When you enter the land that I am giving you, the land shall observe a Sabbath for the Lord. Six years you shall sow your field, and six years you shall prune your vineyard and gather in their yield, but in the seventh year there shall be a Sabbath of complete rest for the land, a Sabbath for the Lord: you shall not sow your field or prune your vineyard. You shall not reap the aftergrowth of your harvest or gather the grapes of your unpruned vine: it shall be a year of complete rest for the land. You may eat what the land yields during its Sabbath—you, your male and female slaves, your hired and your bound laborers who live with you, for your livestock also, and for the wild animals in your land all its yield shall be for food.

 Leviticus 25:1-7, NRSV

Basically, God was telling the people of ancient Israel that they were to work for 6 years, and then they were to take a whole year off.  In that seventh year, instead of farming, they would eat whatever food the land produced by itself.

It seemed like such a life-giving idea - a year to rest and reflect and pray and reset. A more extended version of the Sabbaths I've found so helpful for many years now.  But how would it work in the modern world?  We're not farmers - we live on a salary.  And salaries don't just "happen" the way crops might simply appear in a previously farmed field.

So we decided to start saving a month's worth of expenses each year, with the intention of taking six months off in the seventh year.  Our faith wasn't big enough for a whole year, and that felt like a more do-able goal!  As it happened, Martin got a bonus from work which meant we met our target well ahead of time, but it's then taken us a year or two to actually get onto taking the time off.

I'd always seen this as Martin's Sabbatical (after all, he's the one with a job!), but about 6-8 weeks before he started I suddenly started to think: gosh, I'd like a Sabbatical, too!  I wondered if I could make that work.

I contacted the core members of the Just Kai team and ran it past them, and together we came up with a plan to keep Just Kai ticking over without me.  I'm not going to be able to give that up completely if it is to continue over this time, but I've only done two hours of Just Kai work this month - which is pretty impressive at the time the team has been preparing our Easter recommendations!

I then thought about what else I consider 'work', and how to give up those things.

I love being able to give people hand-made cards: it's a good way to keep in touch with people and acknowledge them, and many people really appreciate the hand-made touch.  However, making them is a lot of work - and it's not really been a creative endeavour for quite some time, as mostly I'm simply trying to get them done.  So I went through my list, thought about who wouldn't much mind if they didn't get one this year, then made 'good-enough' cards for everyone else on the list through till early September.  I've never had such a big bag of cards ready!  Also, whilst I enjoy making hand-sewn gifts for people, actually choosing presents for people often feels like hard work.  So I went through my list and tried to figure out sewing ideas and/or buy gifts for people through till September.  That didn't go as well and there are still lots more ideas needed, but I've certainly reduced the size of that job :-)

And then Martin finished work at the end of February, I had a full-on weekend trying to wrap up lots of Just Kai stuff, and on March 3rd the Sabbatical officially began.

Except that week was really hard.  We were preparing to go away camping the following week and there was a bunch of prep needed for that, plus I was exhausted from all the work of finishing up my various responsibilities.  Martin took over some of the camping prep, but I spent a moderate amount of time that week crying: this was supposed to be my rest time and I just felt so pressured.

The week at Wenderholm was lovely (there's a bit of a write-up here), and the two weeks since we've been back I've done some good thinking.

In the weeks leading up to the Sabbatical I'd come up with a list of goals for this time:

• rest
• get to know my local area
• get fitter/stronger
• progress my Sāmoan (I started an online course a while back, but it's been on pause since November)
• spend time with friends
• play the violin
• play around with some experimental baking I've wanted to try for a while
• read Just Discipleship with Martin
• do some kind of camping trip most months
• spend time with Martin's parents and his aunty and uncle in Te Aroha
• decluttering

Initially I was getting frustrated that I was doing hardly any of those, and I was feeling tired and busy.  And I realised that the thing I was craving the most was spending time with friends - and I was also craving the head-space to do creative things, and really wanting to play my violin again (something I haven't done since the concussion).

I started to think about what was stopping me from doing those things, and noticed two things:

1. a lot of my time is still going into things I do to keep the world running: making soy milk each week; making big batches of salad, crackers and hummus as I need etc.  Doing these things from scratch is frugal, being involved in the things I need for my life feels grounded, it enables me to produce them in environmentally-friendly ways, they're things that are good for my health, and it's generally stuff I'm happy enough to do.  But together, all those things take a fair bit of time and effort.
2. I was starting to go to things that "felt like a good idea", just because the time wasn't committed elsewhere.

I'm really tired right now.  That's a big part of why I'm taking this Sabbatical.  And I've come to realise I need to prioritise rest really highly right now.

But also, I was feeling so frustrated: it's finally the Sabbatical and I'm still not seeing my friends!!

I realised part of what lay behind that thought was the idea that "now is my time to see people".  As if, come September, I'd have to go back to seeing hardly anyone again.  But another part of why we're both taking the Sabbatical is to re-think life.  To take time to think and pray so that, come September, we can be living a life that feels less exhausting and where there's more time, in particular, for both hospitality and visiting people.

So I've realised my key goal now is to rest, and that that's the route to the other things I want (like time with people and pursuing creative stuff).  And that it's mental rest I need most - so exercise fits well into that goal of resting, but lots of people time doesn't.

As well as our savings for our month-to-month expenses over this time, we have a sum set aside for Sabbatical expenses.  We don't have clear goals for this money.  I'd thought we might use it to enable Martin to go on a course if something relevant came up, but the first thing we're actually going to use it on is buying all those things I usually make from scratch.  It'll buy me more Sabbatical :-)

I'm also thinking really hard before I say 'yes' to things right now - in particular, trying to ask: "is this what I want to do right now?"

Martin has also taken over the hardest parts of my main church commitment: giving up his job has freed up an immense amount of time for him, and he felt picking up that relatively small task wouldn't compromise the resting he's doing.  Hopefully that will also enable more rest.

my current sewing project: this is going to be a pair of coasters and placemats for an ex-colleague of Martin's and his wife.

And this past week has gone better.  I've stopped a number of times before finishing the things I'd hoped to do that day - as I was tired, and that was what I needed - and that's been OK.  I've done quite a lot of sewing, and I'm delighting in how my current project is shaping up (see the photo above).  I was hoping to see two people one day this week, but I realised that was too much and cancelled on one of them and I'm pleased with that choice.  I've still done a moderate amount of work preparing for our street's annual Neighbours Day BBQ (coming up next weekend - we'll miss the actual day for the first time in 14 years!), doing end-of-year household accounts stuff and prepping to go to Martin's parents' place tomorrow, but it's been a much more restful week than last and I'm feeling more hopeful :-)

Watch this space!