Wednesday, December 12, 2018

I am a giant!

Today I saw my GP for the first time since getting better.  I was a bit nervous about going: would the receptionist recognise me, how would I explain to my GP what had happened etc.  What I didn't anticipate was the surreal feeling of being a giant.

Every other time I've been there I've been in a wheelchair.  This time I was walking, so was considerably taller.  I felt absolutely huge.  I even found myself walking gingerly, subconsciously expecting to accidentally trample small people or something!  It was so odd being at such a different height in relation to so many familiar things...

(And, in terms of the actual visit, the GP was very relaxed about my situation.  She wants me to take things slow, not push myself too much and allow myself time/space to enjoy my new abilities :-)  She doesn't think I acutely need physio intervention in terms of my gait, but she will make contact with the DHB physios and see what happens.  She's comfortable with the medications/supplements I've taken myself off and is OK with me gradually coming off more over time.)

Thursday, December 6, 2018

15 years!!!

Today Martin and I celebrated 15 years of marriage with a trip to West Lynn Gardens.

A helpful realisation

A few days ago I realised something important.

I've been feeling a lot of pressure to just slot back into the healthy world - and I've been frustrated that people don't realise how intimidating it all is and how it's not that easy.

Then I realised that, whilst there may be people who think that way, the main person who's imposing that expectation on me is me!

Several times recently I've had to let people down as I'm struggling to work out what my energy levels will be like.  I've been really embarrassed to do that.  But everyone I've done that to has been fine with it.  And quite possibly literally dozens of people have told me not to rush things and to allow myself time to adjust.

Actually, it seems like more or less everyone else 'gets' that this is a big transition and will be difficult and take time: I'm the only one who seems to think that's a problem ;-)  And as for thinking I'm 'letting God down' by not just slotting in (and so not being 'instantly healed') is just silly...