Friday, 18 June 2021

Still figuring things out

It's two and half years since I got better, but I still feel like I've got a lot to figure out about this new life.  When I first got sick, I think it took around that long to move from being scared through to a place of contentment - and it took periodic reviews of my activities to keep me there.  I guess I shouldn't be too surprised it's taking a long time this time around, too.  It's a big change!

I think one trouble is that I still don't have a good idea how much energy a lot of things will take.  Recently I went to visit a friend in Takapuna.  I spent about two hours with her, maybe an hour or so each way in travel time, and I rested for about an hour at her place before coming home.  I'd expected it to take basically the whole day, so wasn't unduly distressed at the two hour visit taking five hours - and we had a really good time together :-)  What I hadn't expected was being incredibly wiped out almost the whole following day as well, so suddenly my fun two hours had cost me almost two entire days...

And then I felt stink, and lonely - if visiting one friend 'costs' so much, how can I ever get around to visiting all the people I miss?  Time already feels so tight.

That was probably mostly because my expectations are still all a bit all over the place.  After all, no one else gets to do things that take two whole days all that often, either!  But I hadn't realised that was what this would take.

That's kind-of prompted a bit of a review of my time, though.  If things that matter so much to me take so long, I really do need to take steps to make sure they can happen at least sometimes!

So, I've split my giant 'to do' list into a bunch of different categories, so every month or so I can make sure I've done a few things from each of the different categories (rather than feeling like I never get around to 'household stuff', or 'fun things', for example).

Secondly, I've put limits on how many hours a week I spend on Just Kai.  I've started with 10 hours a fortnight, although in the past six weeks I only managed about 25 hours, so maybe I should reduce that to 8 per fortnight - we'll see.

And then I've got a bunch of things I work hard to include every week:

  • playing my violin for 15 minutes twice a week (which sounds like nothing, but I'm still making progress even with so little time. I'm currently delighting in working through a set of 6 Corelli violin sonatas and have nearly nailed this one);
  • exercising twice a week (swimming at Blockhouse Bay Beach where possible, otherwise biking, walking around Oakley Creek, or biking to Eric Armishaw Reserve and walking there);
  • visiting a particular neighbour.

And it's delightful all the lovely things I get to see when I'm out walking, in particular!

When I first saw these mushrooms, I honestly initially thought they were some kind of art installation!  But they're real.  They're by one of the entrances to Selwyn Village from the path that goes along Point Chevalier Peninsula from Eric Armishaw Reserve.

The same day I spotted the mushrooms, the kōtare (native kingfisher) in the middle of this photo flew right across in front of me before landing in the tree.  So beautiful!

I also find a do better if I have a sewing project on the go.  It can take a lot of effort to do the planning required to start something new, but I think I need to really work hard at making time and headspace for that.  I'm currently working on an embroidered hotmat for us, and it's so nice to have that to chip away at after maybe 6-8 weeks with no sewing at all.

While I wasn't up to planning any sewing recently, I did at least manage some satisfying crafts.  Our bathroom stool has now been re-covered (for the second time) with bicycle inner tubes.

Followed by that success, I did our kitchen stool, too.

They make me smile when I see them :-)

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